


The Honourable Miss Fisher Is In

by whopooh



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Body Swap, F/M, MFMM april trope challenge, Okay I made another body swap fic, seems I couldn't help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 18:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10747182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whopooh/pseuds/whopooh
Summary: Jack decides to tell Phryne about his feelings. Phryne is oddly out of sorts.





	The Honourable Miss Fisher Is In

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already wrote a fic for the body swap challenge (even if it was only a role reversal, "The Inspector Is In") but I couldn't stop thinking about real body swaps, and how fun they can be. 
> 
> This is what came out.

_Right_ , Jack Robinson said to himself. _This is it._

It was a late Saturday morning. The night before he had come home from yet another lovely nightcap at Phryne’s; they’d had a few more glasses of whisky than usual and talked for a long time, and Phryne’s eyes had seemed to promise all sorts of wonderful things. Jack had felt like he never wanted to leave Wardlow again. But of course, he had. 

This morning, as he sat and had a late breakfast, he felt a decision take form in his gut. _This is it. I cannot wait any longer._ He had another toast with marmalade. _Today I will try to seduce Phryne Fisher._ Or rather, he corrected himself, let her know he would be opened for seduction, if she felt the inclination. He had to tell her how he felt, before it burst forth at the worst possible time.

The night before had been the final straw. They had talked about orchids and Jack’s interest in growing them, and Phryne had mischievously pointed out he was growing wandering phalluses, as their name derived from a word for testicle. If she’d wanted to make him embarrassed, she had succeeded, but then she’d added that he perhaps was growing small temples for Aphrodite, the goddess of love, since that was also an origin of their name. Jack could have sworn the look she had given him was the softest he had seen on her face. He'd very nearly blurted it out then and there, some muddled nonsense about Phryne and Aphrodite that would have been embarrassing in the morning light, and had only just managed to call it a night instead.

Finishing his breakfast, he decided to go to Wardlow on a surprise visit. He picked some of the smallest orchids from his garden and arranged them in a box, small enough to fit in his pocket. _Phalluses and temples of love,_ well it was rather fitting to his state of mind, he supposed. He dressed – a crisp white shirt, his blue suit, and a tie he knew she favoured, the one with a rather daring pattern in red and blue. Then he took off before he had time to change his mind.

Standing before her door, he knocked quickly before he had the chance to regret it. There was some bustle inside the door. He thought he could hear Mr Butler say “Miss, there’s someone at the door” and Phryne answer “Oh dear”. There was another low murmur, and all Jack caught was the word “indisposed”, before the door opened and Mr Butler stood before him.

“Good morning, Inspector,” he said. “Please, come in.”

Jack eyed him, certain there was something strange in his demeanour; despite being his usual cordial self, there was a hint of stress beneath the composed exterior. He thought the good man even smelled from sweat, which he had never noticed before. As Mr Butler took his coat and hat Jack wanted to ask if he was well, but at that moment Phryne appeared in the doorway to the parlour.

“Inspector!” she said, and her smile somehow didn’t seem to go all the way up to her eyes. “Aren’t you very early?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Fisher,” Jack said. “I know it’s quite early – well, early for you at least… I guess, of course I don’t know your Saturday habits all that well.” She smiled at his fumbled response, but perhaps with less softness than the night before. Perhaps this was a mistake after all. “I needed to speak with you.”

He produced a small, uncertain smile. Phryne made no sign of moving.

“May I come in?” he finally asked. 

“Oh! Of course. Come in, Inspector,” she said and turned into the parlour in a manner that was slightly less elegant than usual. 

Did she have a hang-over? Maybe it was the early hour that didn’t agree with her? She was wearing a luxurious silk kimono, and when she gestured to him to sit in a chair, it slid open and she looked annoyed when straightening it. He thought he caught her saying under her breath “damn this slinky material,” but he put it down to fancy since it didn’t sound like something Phryne would say.

“I’ll bring in some tea, Miss,” Mr Butler said – rather pointedly, Jack thought – and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Excellent, Mr Butler,” Phryne said in a loud voice to his retreating back. She looked around the room, slightly flustered, plucking with the kimono over her knees, before finally settling her eyes on Jack.

“Inspector. Jack,” she said, tentatively. “You’re here.” 

Nothing in her appearance was _very_ wrong, but somehow everything was a little lopsided. The way she sat, rather more decisively than usual; the way she didn’t seem to know what to say; the way her smile wasn’t in the least seductive when she turned it towards him.

Did she realise what was coming, and tried to brace herself? Or was she just surprised he was there on a Saturday morning at all?

“So…” Phryne said. “What are you doing on a fine morning like this?”

Jack didn’t know how to answer that question. _I have come to confess my undying love for you, Miss Fisher,_ somehow didn’t feel like the best take on things.

“I… um,” he started, just to remember the gift he’d brought. “Oh, I have something for you,” he said, and pulled the small box out of his pocket. “Here.”

She stiffened at his gesture and eyed the box with something that almost looked like trepidation. He held it forward, but she didn’t move to take it.

“This made me think of you, after our conversation yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” Phryne said, sounding non-plussed. At that moment, Mr Butler came in with a tray filled with tea, sandwiches, and biscuits.

“Ah, yes, yesterday,” he said to his mistress. “Yesterday evening, when the Inspector was here for a nightcap, Miss.” He looked at Phryne, who seemed to finally come back to her normal vivacity.

“Of course!” she beamed. “And what a lovely nightcap it was!”

Mr Butler bustled about laying out the table with his offerings. 

“I believe the Inspector didn’t go home until after midnight yesterday. It was a rather… prolonged affair.”

Jack got the impression that Mr Butler was trying to convey more to Phryne, stressing words in odd ways, as if it were a code or he was attempting to coax understanding from her. It made Jack uneasy, and he eyed the butler more closely, just to see the man arch his eyebrows at Phryne.

“Of course,” she said, and turned to Jack with the kind of warmth in her eyes that made his stomach flip. She held out her free hand to him and gave his arm a squeeze. “And thank you,” she added, with respect to his gift that she finally accepted. She opened the box and saw the little flower arrangement. “It’s… lovely.” 

Mr Butler politely withdrew from the room.

 _This is it,_ Jack thought. _This is the moment, Robinson._

“I…” he started, and stumbled a little on the words – “...what I wanted to tell you is that I… that I love you, and that I have loved you for quite some time, and that I understand you might not love me…” – he faltered a little – “…the way I would wish…” 

He trailed off at the sight of her. Phryne looked like she had seen a ghost. If Jack had been asked what would be the most terrifying look on someone’s face when you confessed your love for them, this would probably be in the top five, coming up just behind raucous laughter. He felt himself starting to sweat; this did not turn out the way he had hoped it would.

“…you to,” he finished feebly.

Phryne was silent. He decided to give it one more go.

“When you talked about orchids and Aphrodite yesterday…”

“I talked about Aphrodite?” Phryne repeated, and if Jack hadn’t been so immersed in what he was saying, he might have sensed there was an incredulous laugh hiding in her voice.

“… that lingered with me, and I decided I needed to come clear to you. About my feelings. But I sense now that this was not what you wanted to hear.”

“No.” Phryne said. “Or yes? How am I supposed to know that?!”

Jack looked at the woman he had just laid out his heart for. She glanced at the door; Jack turned his head slightly and from the corner of his eyes he saw Mr Butler, and he could swear the man was nodding.

“Yes,” Phryne said again. “Yes, of course, I'm fond of you too.”

Jack stared at her. For all the hopes he might have had that she would say something like that, he couldn’t believe she had. And in such a matter-of-fact way. Not only without innuendo, but without even smiling.

“What is wrong, Phryne?” he asked, exasperated. He stood up, which made her stand too.

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Of course something is wrong!”

Phryne nodded to herself and seemed to reach a decision; she rounded the table to stand right in front of him.

“Nothing is wrong and I want you to kiss me.”

She looked up at him under her lashes, and despite the oddities of the situation she was still alluring. She put her hands on his shoulders and challenged him.

“Kiss me, Jack!”

And, in spite of everything, after a slight pause, he did. He kissed her with all he had, capturing her head with one hand and her waist with the other, pressing his lips to hers like he had dreamed of since Café Repliqué. She was stiff at first, but soon responded to his lips, moving her hands to his back to press him to her and opening her mouth to deepen the kiss. They didn’t stop until they needed to breathe. Jack withdrew, but only a little bit, looking deep into her eyes. Somehow, she seemed surprised she had actually enjoyed kissing him.

“Something is wrong, isn’t it?” he said.

“Nothing’s wrong, Inspector. I’m just… a little indisposed at the moment. Could you perhaps come back another day?”

“Another day?” he asked, incredulous.

“I’m sorry if that sounded wrong. I just… I don’t feel very well.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No, no, it’s… female things,” Phryne answered. “I’m just not myself.”

At that moment, the door opened without even a knock, and Doctor Macmillan entered. 

“I can’t believe…” she started, before stopping as she took in the scene before her – Phryne and Jack still half in an embrace, now turned to look at her instead of each other.

“Jack!” she exclaimed, horrified. “And… Phryne?”

Phryne stared at Mac; they were both immobile. Then Phryne shook herself into action.

“It’s not what it seems!” she said, loosening herself from Jack’s arms. Jack’s eyes left Mac for Phryne.

“What do you mean? Isn’t it exactly what it seems?”

“No!” Phryne said. “Well, yes! But no!” The last words were for Mac.

Jack looked between the women, who seemed to have entered some kind of battle of the eyes. What was happening? Why did Phryne sound so upset? He studied Doctor Macmillan more closely and realised there was a softness around her eyes and mouth that she usually never showed. She seemed to fight with some overpowering emotion.

Jack was not a detective for nothing; he assessed the scene he was a part of. Phryne behaving oddly, not really smiling at him. Mac bursting in and seeming emotional… almost jealous. Phryne and Mac focused on each other.

 _Oh. No! They weren’t, were they?_ Was it possible that they were actually… in love, Phryne and Mac, and that he had somehow inveigled himself between these two formidable women? He felt his ears turn red. Phryne had seemed so off the whole time he’d been here; it was the only explanation he could see. But why would she have flirted so much with him, for months?

 _Because she’s Phryne Fisher, of course. She doesn’t need any other excuse, she flirts with anyone._ He felt his stomach drop. Anyone… even a silly inspector who didn’t know when he’d outstayed his welcome. Jack saw the two women look intently at each other, like they tried to have a whole conversation without using words. Without having to have him as audience.

“I’m sorry, Miss Fisher,” he said and retreated. “I’m sorry I came here and… and… dropped all these… unasked for… emotions at you. I sincerely apologise.”

He turned to walk out the door but was stopped by a Doctor MacMillan who looked peculiarly frantic, almost desperate.

“Don’t go, Jack,” she said. “I can explain.” She blinked. “I mean, I’m sure Phryne can explain.” 

“I… I don’t need an explanation, Doctor Macmillan. Noone owes me anything,” Jack answered. “I… you both know I don’t have anything against love between people of the same sex. I just wish I had understood sooner.”

The two women were both stricken silent – he saw how caught out they looked. _Of course, they are magnificent together, they truly are. Even if it breaks my heart._

When he moved to pass her, Doctor Macmillan stopped him with a strong hand planted on his chest.

“Don’t go, Jack. Don’t walk out like this.” 

Her eyes shone like they had tears in them – _when did Mac ever cry?_ – and she seemed at a loss for words. She looked him in the eyes; her hand on his chest made his heart beat faster, which took him by surprise, and he felt like she tried to devour him with her eyes. Suddenly, she took a step to come flush to him, grabbed his neck and pulled him down for a searing kiss. She caught him so completely off guard he didn’t protest even when she opened her mouth and turned the kiss deeper, meeting his tongue with her own. Mac turned out to be an excellent kisser, and without meaning to, Jack grabbed her by the waist so he could kiss her more thoroughly. 

When he came out of his stunned state enough to remember himself he pulled back, mortified. Had he just kissed Doctor Macmillan, in front of Phryne Fisher, and after having just declared his love for Phryne? He truly was in wonderland. He caught his breath and straightened, looking at the woman in the kimono. He didn’t know what he was expecting from her, but he hardly expected her to have a small, wry smile on her face when she watched the two of them.

“I…” Jack said. “I…” But he couldn’t complete the sentence. How could it have felt better to kiss Mac than to kiss Phryne? Was he going insane? Were they – he blushed just from the thought – were they somehow interested in doing something together the three of them? “What…”

“Can you please sit down and have some more tea, Jack?” Mac said. “ _Phryne_ and I need to speak alone for a minute. Please don’t go.” She gestured to Phryne to follow her out into the kitchen.

As mortified as he was, Jack decided to stay; he needed some answers to the development of the day.

He sat down and had some sandwiches and tea, then he moved on to the biscuits. Mr Butler had outdone himself, and Jack did his best to focus on the food instead of his swirling thoughts. Phryne and Mac took a long time in the kitchen. 

After a while, Mr Butler came out, obviously to check on him while filling up his tea. The older man disappeared again. Jack heard Phryne and Mac move upstairs, which jolted him out of his tea reverie. Maybe he really should go, after all? As if reading his thoughts, Mr Butler came in again and put a delicious-looking chocolate cake in front of him. This time, he stayed on in the parlour. _Almost as if guarding me,_ Jack thought. He decided to strike up a conversation.

“It’s a rather… odd day, isn’t it, Mr Butler?”

“Indeed, sir,” the man answered kindly. “The oddest of days.”

“Exactly what is happening, Mr Butler?” Jack tried a bit more decisively.

“Well, sir. Miss Fisher hasn’t… been quite herself this morning. I’m sure she’ll be able to explain it all to you in a minute, if you just wait.”

There was something in the tone and demeanour of the butler that made it clear to Jack he wasn’t really allowed not to wait. 

“More tea, sir?” the butler added.

“Please, Mr Butler,” he answered.

He must have waited for almost an hour when he finally heard movements on the stairs. 

It was Phryne. She had changed clothes and was wearing Doctor Macmillan’s three-piece suit. It was rather flattering for her figure, Jack couldn’t help noticing. 

“Inspector,” she said. “I’m glad you’re still here. I think we owe you an explanation.”

Mac came after her, and interestingly she had changed into one of Phryne’s ensembles, all in shimmering blue. It looked incredibly striking in contrast to her red hair. Jack looked between them. 

“I never thought about it before, but you sure look striking in each other’s outfits,” Jack said, and instantly regretted he had said it aloud. Both women smiled sardonically at him.

“It rather seems we look striking in each other’s bodies,” Mac said. “I am sorry for all the confusion, Jack. We have to come clear. Somehow, Mac and I seem to have swapped bodies. I am Phryne, and she, in my body, is Mac.”

Jack could not make sense of that utterance.

“You what? That’s not possible.”

“I know. Still, it happened.”

Jack looked at Phryne in the suit, and tried to discern Mac’s stance in her body, and yes, he guessed he could see it. He looked at the blue-clad Mac, who looked at him with softer eyes than he’d ever seen in that cool, friendly, sardonic face. 

“I … guess I can see it. A little bit,” Jack said. “Although of course you’re also probably good actors. Is it April’s fools today?”

“It’s April the 27th,” said Phryne – no it should be Mac, then. “On Monday, I’m supposed to hold an exam for the third-year students at the medical school.”

“It’s April the 27th, and tomorrow I’m due to Aunt P for afternoon tea,” Phryne-in-Mac’s-body said.

Jack pondered this for a while, wondering if there was a way to gather evidence of this preposterous claim.

“Quote to me some of the vows you had to take to become a coroner,” he said to the woman in the three-piece suit. She did. 

“Tell me something only you would know, Phryne,” he said to the woman in blue.

She paused to think. “Last night, when I told you that ‘orchid’ comes from a word for testicle,” she said, “I wanted to rattle you.”

“And did it work?” Jack asked.

“You looked endearingly uncomfortable,” she answered with a smile. 

It did sound very Phryne, to use something with an innuendo to prove her identity. Her eyes strayed to the table and the orchids in the opened box, and then looked at him attentively.

“I guess you could have told each other these things,” he said. “But there’s something in the way you talk that make me think this is not a prank.”

“I can’t say it’s not interesting. And fun in its own way,” Phryne in Mac’s body said. “But it’s really rather inconvenient.”

“How is this possible?” Jack said and turned to the woman dressed as Mac, who should then also actually be Mac. He was grateful they had changed clothes as it helped him to keep track.

“It isn’t,” the raven-haired Mac said. “It’s decidedly not possible.”

“But…” he started.

“It’s scientifically impossible. But if it still happened, I have a fair idea why,” she continued, a little apologetically. “I might have been to the fair yesterday, and been somewhat… scientifically rude to a fortune teller there, who took offense. She mumbled a curse at me. Of course, I didn’t think more about it. Not until this morning, when I woke up in Phryne’s bed. – Not that there’s anything wrong with your bed, darling, but it was still a shock,” she added to her red-haired companion.

“Don’t look at me,” Phryne answered with a small smile. “You know your bed is far less opulent than mine, and I got your hang-over as well. Plus, you don’t really have much to eat at your place.” Phryne let her smile bloom more openly at Mac. “But I admit your body is all strong and sturdy, in a rather pleasant way.”

Mac laughed, in Phryne’s joyful tone. “Yours is strong too, Phryne, and you know it.” She pondered for a moment, and then added: “The thing that surprised me most, though, is how it reacted to have the Inspector over as a visitor.”

“Mac,” Phryne said sharply. “Don’t you dare.”

But Mac just turned Phryne’s radiant green eyes to Jack and smiled. “Just looking at him, I feel I’m going all warm in my gut. And when he kissed me...” She turned back to Phryne again. “You never told me you’re in love.”

“ _Mac_!” Phryne’s voice was a hiss now. “Stop it!”

“I will not,” Mac said. “After all the poor man has had to suffer, declaring his feelings for the wrong woman. Phryne is most definitely in love with you, Jack, when even I can sense it after she’s vacated this body. Oh, there’s a strong part of lust, of course, but there’s much more to it.”

Phryne had taken a few steps towards Mac as if to physically try to silence her. Now she turned to see how Jack took the news.

Jack had gone rigid. Had Mac just declared Phryne’s feelings for him, from within Phryne’s body? Was this the right place for him to just run away, or pass out, so he wouldn’t have to make sense of it anymore? Finally, he turned to the red-haired Phryne.

“There is?” he asked. “You are?”

Phryne made Mac’s face look both soft and annoyed.

“There might be some truth to what Mac’s saying. But this must be the worst possible time to delve into this kind of…” She didn’t get any further before Jack had taken a few strides towards her to take her head in both his hands. He scrutinized her, trying to see the one woman in the other’s features, stroking his finger over her cheek. After a long moment, he bent down to kiss her softly. This time, he knew it was Phryne who kissed him although she looked like Mac, and he savoured the sweetness.

“Hey, mind my body!” Mac exclaimed.

Jack released Phryne’s head. “I apologize, Doctor Macmillan. I didn’t mean to offend.”

“Just don’t do it again,” she huffed.

This made Jack’s stomach drop. 

“But… what if… this won’t stop. What if you’ll stay like this forever?”

“I confess the thought has crossed my mind,” Mac said. “As this cannot happen in the first place, I have no idea if it’s permanent or not. No earlier examples to form a conclusion from.”

“Mr Butler sent Cec and Bert to inquire at the fair. Until we know something more, we’ll just have to wait, and hope,” the red-haired Phryne said. “I need to do something, otherwise I’m going mad. No cases to work on? Should we take a walk at the beach at least?”

Two hours later, the three of them were back at Wardlow. It had been an amusing walk. Phryne and Mac had behaved like children trying out things for the first time. Mac had realised her taste in ice cream had changed according to Phryne’s taste buds. Phryne had had a surprise when they saw a group of young people playing at the beach, and her feelings of adoration only came when she watched the young women in bathing suits. “So _this_ is what it feels like,” she’d murmured happily to Mac, who had looked away.

Back at Wardlow, they found the red raggers eating scones in the kitchen, tended to by Mr Butler. As the men saw the three of them enter, Bert let out a whistle.

“I guess Robinson is in deep trouble now,” he smirked.

Jack looked uncomfortable and Phryne – in Mac’s body – scolded Bert. The confusion of being so familiarly scolded by the wrong person silenced him.

“The fortune teller was very pleased,” Cec reported. “She also said there’s no way on Earth she’s powerful enough to make this irreversible. People’s souls tend to want to be home. And if you wish real hard to be in your own body again, it’ll wear off quicker.”

“That’s good news,” Phryne said. “Not that I don’t like your body, darling, but it would be nice to come home again.” She winked at her friends. “Especially as I seem to have a policeman to ravage.”

The kitchen went quiet. There was something about seeing Doctor Macmillan promise to ravage a man that took their breath away. The body of Phryne seemed to look at her own soul in a combination of awe and amusement. Jack blushed like a school boy.

The red-haired woman smirked at his embarrassment and put her hand on his cheek. After a few seconds, there was a thorough change in her demeanour. She straightened, took her hand away, and put some decent distance between herself and the Inspector.

“Phew,” she said. “It seems I am Mac in Mac’s body again.”

Everybody’s eyes went to the figure of Phryne in the three-piece suit, touching her own hair and shaking her head as if to rid herself of cobwebs.

“I’m home,” she smiled. “I’m back.” She looked at her Doctor friend. “So nice to see you from the outside again.” She paused for a while and looked pensive. “But I get the feeling I still have some of your emotions, Mac,” Phryne said. “Like about those beautiful women…”

“Ah, yes,” Cec interrupted, “she said that would happen. The fortune teller. Some of the emotions you felt in the other body will linger, and they’ll only wear off with time.”

Mac coughed, embarrassed, and eyed Jack from top to toe. 

“Yes, I’m afraid I can see that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Fire_Sign, who is the most generous pre-reader! (and who helped me bring in the orchid)


End file.
